Stop Waiting Until You're Less Busy

My Car Couldn't Fit One More Plant. I Bought It Anyway.

Earlier this spring, I was drowning. Work was stressful, my chart notes were piling up, and I hadn't food shopped in probably two weeks.

Then my girlfriend and I ended up at a garden center in New Jersey. Not a cute little nursery. A farm. Plants as far as you could see.

I told myself I'd grab a couple things and get home to catch up.

Two hours later, my car was packed so full of flowers and plants that I could not fit one more thing in it. We're talking full Tetris mode, a fern riding shotgun. And the chart notes? Still sitting there. The food shopping? Still not done.

I didn't care.

The old version of me would have felt guilty pulling out of that parking lot. She'd have spent the whole ride home doing math: how far behind am I now, what am I giving up tomorrow to make up for this.

I didn't do the math. I drove home with a trunk full of dirt and dahlias, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like myself.

🎧 Prefer to Listen?

You can listen to the audio version of this post here:

Why "When I'm Less Busy" Never Comes

If you've been waiting to feel less busy before you let yourself enjoy anything, I need you to hear this: busy is the permanent condition of modern womanhood. There's no "less busy" season coming to rescue you. The laundry is never fully done. The inbox is never fully done. If joy is the reward waiting at the finish line, you're going to wait a very long time, because there is no finish line.

Your nervous system, the part of your body running quietly in the background deciding whether you're safe enough to slow down, learned somewhere along the way that stopping was risky. So it keeps scanning. It keeps managing. It keeps you moving. And joy starts to feel like one more thing you haven't earned yet.

The Pressure Yes vs. the Life Yes

This month in The Infinite Circle, we've been talking about the difference between a pressure yes and a life yes.

A pressure yes comes from guilt. It's the "sure, I can do that" you say while every cell in your body is screaming no. It feels tight. Chest tight, jaw tight, stomach in a knot.

A life yes feels different. It might still be a little scary, especially if it's new. But underneath it, there's a spark. Curiosity instead of dread.

Buying out that garden center was a life yes. It scared me a little, all those unfinished tasks waiting at home, but it lit me up more than it scared me.

Your Body Knows Before You Do

Next time you're about to say yes to something, pause and ask your body one question: does this feel like expansion, or does it feel like contraction? You don't need a psychology degree to answer that. Your shoulders already know. Your stomach already knows.

Make Your Own Summer Yes List

Here's the practical piece. Not a bucket list. A joy list.

Write down ten small things that would make this summer feel more like your actual life. Not Instagram's life. Not your neighbor's life. Yours.

Eat outside. Call the friend who makes you laugh until you forget what you were stressed about. Watch the sunset instead of your phone. Take the walk after dinner. Say no to one thing that drains you. Say yes to one thing that lights you up.

That's it. Ten small yeses, chosen on purpose, not handed out from guilt.

You are never going to be less busy. So stop waiting for that season to arrive before you let yourself live. Your joy doesn't go to the back of the line anymore.

What's on your Summer Yes List? Hit reply and tell me. I read every one.

Wishing you more joy, less stress, and infinite possibilities.

Chrissy D' 💜